Monday, December 31, 2007
meet mr. ML.. uhhmm i'm not really addicted to you. its just that a lot of things happen when you're around. lost of crazy memories and stuffs to talk about. in the 2008 starbucks planner, it said that that Life happens over coffee. ahhmm.. i say it happens over yosi.. hehehe
sigarilyo in tagalog.. the slang version is YOSI.. see, i do listen to my teacher's discussions.. hehehe
confessing everything up. yes, i smoke. for years smoking has always been socially because i hang out with people who smoke. so i dont smoke around people who do not smoke. thats why some people were surprised when they knew i was smoking. i smoke because they smoke. i smoke because i can't resist not smoking when i smell the smoke. in other words, i smoke because of the smoke! medyo malabo yata yun, pero i think you get what i mean.
on our magulo rooftop.. my sweet escape where i have deep shitty thoughts.

it just became worst this year. most of the time, i find myself giving in to the urge of smoking. sometimes i just smoke by myself. just a few days ago, i drove up to the beach alone just to smoke. i know, it may sound so loser-ish.. but i want to smoke! the hell with the company. but its always better smoking with someone.. a lot of shitty conversations happen over smoking. thoughts, dreams and lots of wishes.
things got bad when i started having heart palpitations. then i found out that i shouldn't be smoking because it could cause heart complications from the hormonal pills i'm taking [for the sexually active youths, yes. i know what you're thinking]. i've been taking hormonal pills since May with the goal of getting a regular period and cure my hormonal imbalance. my ob gyne prescribed it too me. i didnt know that i shouldn't be smoking. being the irresponsible girl that i am, i just read the med leaflet 2weeks ago [thats like 7 months late]. SMOKING COULD CAUSE HEART ATTACK when i smoke during the duration i was taking pills. great. just great. that answers the heart palpitations.
i always tell people i'm with that i'm gonna die everytime i puff my next cigarette. exagerrating but it ironically it scares me. so now, i get heart palpiations even if i dont smoke. yesh. now that sucks.
its december 31! i promised i'm gonna start the year right. i have two sticks of Marlboro lights in my bag, my last two sticks. then i swear i wont buy packs of cigarettes already. and i won't smoke this hard again. this is just so bad.
smoking can be down right addicting. it got me. i'm not proud i gave in. i just love the shitty talks from people closest to you when you smoke with them. fun memories. fun talks. crazy company. but, i guess there are alot of other ways to have fun memories and crazy company than smoking. this is gonna be so hard.
cheers to 2008! happy new year people! wish me luck! bye =)
kkrriiss posted at 5:06 PM