Monday, December 31, 2007
meet mr. ML.. uhhmm i'm not really addicted to you. its just that a lot of things happen when you're around. lost of crazy memories and stuffs to talk about. in the 2008 starbucks planner, it said that that Life happens over coffee. ahhmm.. i say it happens over yosi.. hehehe
sigarilyo in tagalog.. the slang version is YOSI.. see, i do listen to my teacher's discussions.. hehehe
confessing everything up. yes, i smoke. for years smoking has always been socially because i hang out with people who smoke. so i dont smoke around people who do not smoke. thats why some people were surprised when they knew i was smoking. i smoke because they smoke. i smoke because i can't resist not smoking when i smell the smoke. in other words, i smoke because of the smoke! medyo malabo yata yun, pero i think you get what i mean.
on our magulo rooftop.. my sweet escape where i have deep shitty thoughts.
it just became worst this year. most of the time, i find myself giving in to the urge of smoking. sometimes i just smoke by myself. just a few days ago, i drove up to the beach alone just to smoke. i know, it may sound so loser-ish.. but i want to smoke! the hell with the company. but its always better smoking with someone.. a lot of shitty conversations happen over smoking. thoughts, dreams and lots of wishes.
things got bad when i started having heart palpitations. then i found out that i shouldn't be smoking because it could cause heart complications from the hormonal pills i'm taking [for the sexually active youths, yes. i know what you're thinking]. i've been taking hormonal pills since May with the goal of getting a regular period and cure my hormonal imbalance. my ob gyne prescribed it too me. i didnt know that i shouldn't be smoking. being the irresponsible girl that i am, i just read the med leaflet 2weeks ago [thats like 7 months late]. SMOKING COULD CAUSE HEART ATTACK when i smoke during the duration i was taking pills. great. just great. that answers the heart palpitations.
i always tell people i'm with that i'm gonna die everytime i puff my next cigarette. exagerrating but it ironically it scares me. so now, i get heart palpiations even if i dont smoke. yesh. now that sucks.
its december 31! i promised i'm gonna start the year right. i have two sticks of Marlboro lights in my bag, my last two sticks. then i swear i wont buy packs of cigarettes already. and i won't smoke this hard again. this is just so bad.
smoking can be down right addicting. it got me. i'm not proud i gave in. i just love the shitty talks from people closest to you when you smoke with them. fun memories. fun talks. crazy company. but, i guess there are alot of other ways to have fun memories and crazy company than smoking. this is gonna be so hard.
cheers to 2008! happy new year people! wish me luck! bye =)
kkrriiss posted at 5:06 PM
Saturday, July 28, 2007
kkrriiss posted at 10:06 AM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
just want to say thanks to the people who took a couple of minutes of their time off their busy life to greet me happy birthday. it was really sweet to receive birthday greetings in every possible way like text, call, email [yahoo, friendster, multiply], off line messages [ym], comments [friendster], snail mail [yes, snail mail], and personally greeting me. it was a nice feeling to wake up with messages flooding my inbox and a couple of missed calls.
i wanna thank Feo, my prince, Karla, Jet and Paolo for being the icings on my makeshift cake. You guys made my day extra extra special..
Feo- Thanks for being my John Mayer for my birthday. That was really sweeet. Was it really you who was strumming and singing or did John did all of it..? hahaha =D
My prince- "Don't be sad, I'm always here for you".. thanks.. =D
Karla- I can't believe you remember me when you're eating sneakers, not just when you see drunk people puking. hahaha! that made me laugh. i can't believe that i became such a big influence in your life even if most of it are bad hahahaha =D
Jet- "tambuk ng braso mo!" hahahaha nice bday comment =D
Paolo - Between you and an Ipod Video? I'd rather not have an ipod video and bond with you during Christmas and other holidays, than have the filthy damn white thing and not seeing you for years.. =x i hope you change your mind and stay in the Philippines.
For those who texted and tried calling me during midnight, i wanna say i'm sorry. I was really sleepy and I switched my phone to silent mode so that i could have a sound sleep on the eve of my birthday. hahaha.. thanks.. =D it means a loooootttt to me..
my past days and nights have been really really good. From reliving my clubbing nights, to buying my 2nd to the last pair of havaianas, to spending it the people i really really really miss being with. i feel so blessed.
i can't believe its back to reality. back to school.. hope something keeps me motivated to study. i miss my lola so bad.
ciao.. wishing everybody a great year ahead.. =D
kkrriiss posted at 12:35 PM
Friday, June 29, 2007
i stutter too much.. way too much..i hate it..i just blew it.shet. i just lost my chance to go to china =xthis made me cry:dats ok. if its 4 u, dey will ask you 2 go 2 china. love u.
kkrriiss posted at 12:58 PM
Thursday, June 21, 2007
school officially started. i hate it. i just wish i would sleep and eat the entire day.
thesis.. labor.. thesis.. labor..
i'm missing this/him..
*sigh* i'm too lazy to blog.. haha!! =D
kkrriiss posted at 11:25 AM
Friday, June 08, 2007
i was going to stuffs this afternoon. i came across notebooks i kept.
i read it, kinilig, umiyak, ngumiti, at kung anu-ano pa yung naramdaman ko. ang cute pala. minahal pala kita ng sobra. a huge smile unconciously painted on the canvas of my sad face. kakatuwa. everything seemed perfect, and yah.. i could recall that i did feel perfect.. perfect, contented, and happy. i just don't know what happened.
bakit ba naging ganito..? bakit ba bigla lang tayo nagkasawaan sa isa't isa..? kung tutuusin, mahal kita ng sobra.. at alam ko mas mahal mo pa ako. i just told my friends the other day waht really happened.. why insistingly wanted to leave you.. how we got back together again for the last time.. then you left and hurt me big time.
i pretended to be ok.. yes, i was and i am ok. not until now, its just that everything sinks in right now. whats this? post-breakup syndrome..?
bakit ba naging ganito..? bakit ba bigla lang tayo nagkasawaan sa isa't isa..? kung tutuusin, mahal kita ng sobra.. at alam ko mas mahal mo pa ako.
bakit nga ba?
i found this txt message i sent to you way back when we were starting off-- "i want you to be happy, even if it means i'm not the one who's making you happy.. after all, there's more to life than me.."
shet. that hit me really hard.
we never really had the chance to clean things up. dirty fights. no clear sorry, no forgiveness, no clear story of what really happened and what we both really feel.. we didnt talk.. and we didnt even care to be friends..
"don't keep me hanging.. not knowing whats gonna happen" well, i dont know if you are, but i am.
it sucks your missing in my life.. i want you back, even it means we're just friends..
i'll end this entry with something i found in one of my notebooks: "i'll be a true angel [someday], i'll have wings and halo and dress in white thingys"
am i still your angel?
kkrriiss posted at 10:34 PM